VOICES FROM THE HINTERLAND: COMMENTS OF GAY BISHOP AND PRIESTS

Since the email comments of Bishop Cawcutt - referred to in yesterday's posting - are in the public record, thanks to website Roman Catholic Faithful (which is closing its doors because it is broke), I've decided to offer an edited selection of the Bishop's comments, together with some very moving statements of other gay priests in communication with the Bishop. This is old news from 2001 and I vaguely remember hearing about it, but nine years later, it still has the force of a revelation. The following discussion is from 1999, at the time of Cardinal Raztinger's letter banning openly gay men from entrance into seminaries. The reactions of these gay bishops and priests  makes for very interesting reading. However, if you tire of reading through all of these selections, please read the last one - the most inspiring.

 (REG  refers to comments made by Bishop Reginald Cawcutt. In some cases he is responding to comments on the chat. If REG is in black, the priests are referring to him, frequently with a question. There are clearly a number of bishops taking part in these conversations,  besides Bishop Cawcutt, so all references to insider ecclesiastical stuff are not necessarily from him.  He resigned from his post as  auxiliary bishop of Cape Town in 2002, saying he no longer wished to be the cause of divisions within the church. A shame.)

REG: You told us ages ago about the possibility of a letter from him (then Cardinal Ratzinger) - can YOU give us any update? Certainly bishops of the world have not yet received anything like this - certainly not anything to do with gay students or whatever. I do not see how he can possibly do this - but... If he does, lemme repeat my statement earlier - that I will cause lotsa shit for him and the Vatican. And that is a promise. MY intention would be simply to ask the question what he intends doing with those priests, bishops (possibly "like me") and cardinals (and I might as well put in popes) who are gay? That should cause shit enough. Be assured, dear reverend gentleman, I shall let you know the day any such outrageous letter reaches the desks of the ordinaries of the world.

 

Hey thanks guys for all the confidence in proposing me to be the guy with the tiara -wonder if they would allow one in pink? 

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I have heard likewise that there are more gay men in the Vatican than all of San Francisco but the way they survive is that they are involved in the old political machine. In one diocese of a prince of the church that will remain nameless, the "inquisitor" sniffed out and booted men who were involved with women and men. This same man was caught with his pants down with young girls and boys. I feel to protect the ass of the 75% there will be the likes of the great witch hunts where one accused the other. This does not look good. With the shortages that are this will decrease the numbers of clergy even more and may blow up in there face. Reg, what do you know of this, and is there anything to be done? I heard that the rat was called in recently by JPII for putting out things that were not approved by him. Can anything be done to stop this man? He has enough enemies that can bring him down. It saddens me to think this way, but I can help it.

....

Now for some bad news - Reg - do you have any inside on the next "important document" due from Der Füher's Oberst Ratzinger? I was reliably informed that SCDF and the Congregation for Religious and the thingy for priestly formation are working together on a declaration due in October - and surprise, surprise, it bans homosexuals from entry into religious life or the taking of Orders - what other horrors they contemplate against about 75% of the clergy I shudder to contemplate. I just hope that things become much more toned down than they appear to be at the moment. I am reliably informed that [a prominent Vatican cardinal's] secretary is as flaming as they come (silence on the good [cardinal] though), if this idiocy gets through then the queens on the Vatican hill are piercing their own insteps with their stilettos. Unfortunately I don't have much more information than this.

On this rather miserable note... greetings and courage.

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It bans homosexuals from entry into religious life or the taking of Orders.

 

Well, if it is going to happen, I say GOOD! Then these despots will have unwittingly signed the execution warrant for the present anachronistic, medieval expression of "presbyter" and force it to reform in ways that are consistent with the Gospel.

The straights are CERTAINLY not going to come forward under present conditions .... and with "gay rights" being so "out there", I would imagine that it is more and more difficult for youth to remain in denial about whether they are gay or not.

(Oh wait! But the straights ARE coming forward! In their 60's and 70's. After they have led a decently human life ..... and have reached the age where wisdom is possible - that is, the "hormones" have died down! Nice, safe, sexually-tame, old men. Eunuchs, by virtue of age!)

Once, when asked to list my occupation on a form, I wrote "Medieval Lord" - and *I* don't even wear French Cuffs!!! (Ever notice that the guys who are DYING to wear the purple usually wear French Cuffs?)

Unfortunately, in the coming sexuality pogrom, I fear many of us will be casualties in one way or another - if we insist on saying "We are here!" I've noticed that the idea of "activism" among the older gay clergy is a rather foreign idea. They feel no urge to slit their own throats in the name of Truth, Justice, bla, bla, bla. They simply go to plush old-gay-men piano bars in Boston and sit around the piano singing show-tunes and wishing their dicks still worked the way they did when they were young.

Was talking to an Episcopalian Minister who was marveling at how we "underling" Catholics roll over and play dead in the face of hierarchy authority abuse. I guess with their "protesting" history, it is easier for them to stand up and say FUCK OFF, ASSHOLES.

I was thinking - and this might be just an American, thinking in the "ghetto" way we Americans think - that the U.S. has a terrific leverage tool with the Vatican called Peter's Pence. Withhold those millions for a few years and see how much power a country's clergy can have over the Vatican! Of course, our OWN hierarchy would have to adapt to the outrageous idea of LEADING in ways of LIFE instead of being led around by the NOSE by the "Restorationists" who want to close those windows John XXIII opened.

"Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for THOSE sinners...." ;-)

....

You echoed my feelings here very well. If our prelates ever stood together and stood up to the Vatican, the Roman Curia would change very quickly. Unfortunately many of the American prelates lack the sufficient backbone to carry this through. Or (worse considering they're Americans) they don't realize the power of the purse strings.

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Hey guys, I hope all of you are well? Yes thank, Reg,  for you weekly TOMES which are somewhat hopeful to me that there is a light in the church for those of us struggling to be good and faithful shepherds. I remember when I first said to my therapist that I was gay. I had gone through two intense years of struggle. I begged my bishop not to put me in a parish alone, yet i was given an assignment in the middle of no where with two churches and little support from brother priest/diocese. I need spiritual guidance but many of the brothers i knew where somewhat homophobic and i was in denial. During my time of struggle I was given a seminarian who was bi polar, paroid, manic, etc and who loveddddddddddddddddd jesus. I had gotten an advertisement in the mail and put it in the side of my nightstand. while i was gone my mom who cleaned my house once a week ordered [DELETED] to paint my room. He did and it fell out of the nightstand. Next thing I knew when I got back was that I was called in and my bishop wanted me evaluated to see if i needed to go to treatment. SAD dioceses are more concerned about being sued. I went to a counselor who after I told him my life journey I asked if I needed to go to treatment. He said i was a normal male. that I had issues but don't we all. I started counseling with him, and then went to [DELETED] where I had a great time. I since have struggled three relationships which didn't work out, but were great learning experiences. I returned home. Still the support is lacking and the back stabbing is there but my attitude about myself is better. I still make stupid mistakes when it comes to handling my sexuality, but I am ok with it. I am grateful to god that I had the aol gay christian room with ministers who helped me through all this. I had very good resources to help me deal with myself. I am on the way to recovery. I know 100 % that I want to be a priest. It is sad that we have to live this way, but maybe someday something will change. I love the church but I have come to hate the bureaucracy. Maybe we are in need of another reformation!....LOL...well that is a part of my journey. In time I will write more..[DELETED] P>S if you guys know gay friendly priest who would make good spritiual directors in the [DELETED] area please let me know

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 Bishops....it seems that rome is consecrating men who are either looking for higher postions, wealthy dioceses, soley adminstrators, or control freaks. I WILL GIVE YOU SHEPHERD'S seems to be a contradiction of terms with my experience of bishops lately. It is good to find a bishop who is a human being! I wish we would know of more, and I am sure there are. There were some guys whose lives remind me of the THORNBIRDS who when they get to the top they forget what they once were and become the perscutors and powermongers they dispised. ie ratizinger is a good example..

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Hi everyone: I look forward to reading the emails from this group and as usual, I am inspired.  Reg, thanks for the insight, honesty and the hope you instill in each of us. Frankly, I think that you are a rare kind, not that many of the members in drag are few either. I doubt very much if there will ever be the kind of support gay priests need in the church. We have done a good job in creating hangups with sex, rules etc. How about preaching Christianity? Who cares what I do with my membrane? Obviously, the Holy Church cares or is it mostly those in positions of authority care? As I look back on my life (do that more now that I have reached 50+), I had to come in touch with my pain. About 9 years ago, I was turned in to the bishop because I was acting out with a deacon entrusted to my supervision. poor choice on my part. I was treated as someone who needed help, though compassion at the time was visible from the auxiliary bishop. He didn't give up on me, rather he guided me after he treated me harshly. Before leaving for my program, he apologized for the way he treated me. He gained a little more respect from me. I went to a program where I regained my dignity as a human being, found out how many priests, brothers are gay. It is not wrong to be gay as much of our society looks down on gays. In fact I always muse at a man and woman at a restaurant and notice how often they have very little to talk about. On the contrary, two gay men have a good time together sharing a meal. and in other places too. I had to come to terms with the relationships I have had over the years. Most of them were good ones, good for me especially the one with "[DELETED]". Still find him very appealing to me, though he is now committed to a loving man ( hope he is good for him). I resent the fact that instead of helping me to be monogamous, I was given a choice to either be a celibate or forget it. I guess this is a crude way of putting it. How have I been behaving since the treatment? Surprisingly well. I keep to myself, get very horny and sometimes "fall". more to come later. but thanks everyone for giving me the opportunity to share part of my story. It's been a hell of a journey as far as sexuality is concerned. I love sex, but most of all, I would love to love and be loved above all else. [DELETED]

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REG

Indeed, Bloody Ratz - [DELETED] gives us this bad news. I am a bit reluctant to believe it - have not heard anything of it from other sources - and it surprising that the news guys have not got onto it yet. I was amused to hear JPII's supposed comment that Ratz does thing without asking him. I was reminded of JP's comment when we had lunch with him during our ad limina- We asked him if he was going to watch the soccer game between Germany and Poland on TV that night (he is not supposed to be gay, so he should have been watching) and his reply was that he could not "because Ratzinger is coming to check up on me tonight" .

When I was having my fight with Ratz re my stand re our bishops not opposing gay relationships when it cums up in parliament - one of the documents he sent me to "read for my requested conversion" was a thing that said gay people should not be appointed as school teachers, PT instructors and army personnel. I wondered why seminarians were excluded from this prohibition list. Now it seems they are catching up. As to my query whether this was not discrimination, I was told that all other instances would be discrimination except these.. why? because we say so!!! 

I am wondering what is to happen with those who have sneaked through and got themselves ordained??? Greeley I think says 60% of priests are gay. I would be tempted to out myself and ask what I and other gay bishops (cardinals), priests and religious (male and female) are supposed to do. I say tempted since I shall certainly think about it before October comes our way. However it will be a nice bomb to drop at the Chicago conference next month... Gary watch out for it! As I feel now - I could not continue - but we shall see.

So guys - see - don't think I am such a smart guy at all! I am not, I am just very human like u guys are - and look forward to my night with [DELETED]! 

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Interesting idea to ban all gay clergy. Who in the hell is going to serve the people? In our place alone, they can't manage now, and it would be interesting to see what the people would do. People ask me, "Father, what can be done?" I always answer, "You just have to get mad enough and say you're not going to take it anymore. Tell the damn bishops you don't care of the gender or marital status of the priest who serves you!" Interesting how many of them seem to think this is a good idea. Now we can add sexual orientation too, I suppose.

So now what will the Holy Office of the Inquisition come up with next?

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Greetings to one and all,

I read with great interest  [DELETED]'s note about rumors of another letter coming from the Vatican.

Actually, this is not the first time I have heard of such. When the Los Angeles bishops, et al. went to Rome for their official visit late last fall, they came back talking about that very letter. Apparently Ratz's office was very proud of it, and was telling all those who were visiting that the next official letter would in fact ban gays from religious orders and priesthood. When the LA crew mentioned the letter to the more sympathetic Pio Laghi, he told them not to worry, that the rest of the Congregations would never allow such a letter to get through. So, in spite of Pio Laghi's best intentions, it appears as though the letter might have made it through.

I do find such a letter disturbing, as it will give strength to those ordinaries throughout this country who are already conducting witch hunts. Sadly, men, this gives rise to my worst fears that when all is said and done, each and every one of us is expendable in the eyes of the institutional, hierarchical Church unless we are willing to remain in the closet and play the game by THEIR rules. I know that for a long time, certain "titles" (monsignor, bishop, etc.), have been reserved as much as possible to reward the "good little boys" who have kept their noses clean and have done what "Daddy" told them to do.

A friend of mine who works at a Chancery in a large Archdiocese in the Midwest has suggested that each and every one of us take out our resumes, dust them off, update them, and work with someone who might be able to help some of us transition into the secular world, if the need arises.

In the meantime...let us, as best as possible, live, love, laugh, and be happy. No, I am NOT in denial. I just think that if they come after us, we should try to be in good places so that we can make our own decisions, our own choices, and in our own best interests. If we are expendable to them, we must not be expendable to ourselves. Let us be on guard...and prepare!

 [DELETED]

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(Finally, to end this sampling, I've chosen the most moving testimony of all from an evidently spiritual gay priest of deep commitment, dedication and integrity.) 

Hello, gentlemen!

My heart goes out to all those whose lives and priesthoods have been painful. I have friends whose stories echo those of the men who have shared in here.

I feel I would like to present another side, however. I feel blessed to admit that both my life and my priesthood have been glorious. I have had no real painful challenges, I have been surrounded by good friends, an occasional lover, have done everything I wanted to do, and have been neither stopped nor stifled in anything whatsoever. After 21 years of priesthood, I am more in love with it than ever. Do I have a problem with the Church? Hmm..at times, certainly, but I feel that I have created a healthy enough distance between myself and its pettiness and small-mindedness so that I am personally immune from its attacks. I just go my own way, fighting injustice, of course, but choosing to do so from within. I shall not surrender the Church to the infidels.

I am fortunate too in that I have very specific training and professional degrees--all of them paid for by the "Church"-- that have freed me from depending upon Church sources for a living. I am marketable apart from the Church and its whims. I make a tremendous amount of money in my ministry, and have a tremendous amount of freedom. I do what I want, go where I want, cavort (safely) with whom I want, and should the occasion ever present itself, am capable of telling whomever to go fuck themselves, that I don't need them. Because in many respects, I don't.

Do I play the game? Of course, but only because I believe in the Gospel, and I feel that some of us MUST work from within. This does not mean, however, that I would ever compromise who I am or what I am in order to preserve my current status. I am currently working on a relationship that looks oh-so-promising, and has energized me greatly. Our lovemaking--our entire relationship-- makes me a better person, and a better priest.

So, my friends, I certainly hope that I don't come across as bragging. But I do think it important for all of us to hear/know that our company is made up of ALL kinds. And of course, in my prayers, I thank God for all that I have, and all that I am, and ask His inspiration and grace to continue to use the gifts He has given me wisely, in His name, and for the Kingdom.

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OUR LADY OF MEDUGORJE AND POSITIVE AFFIRMATION OF SAME SEX MARRIAGES?

Wandering through the tropical rain forest that is the internet today, I came across a startling reference linking Medugorje and the isse of same sex marriages. But before I get to that point, I need to meander a bit.

I've been trying with the best of intentions to complete my reflections of the Marian shrine of Litmanova, but keep getting detoured, either by whimsy, an overactive imagination or grace. Today I posted two very interesting articles on Marian devotion in Czech-o-Slovakia and on the Marian apparitions to a middle aged peasant man on the mountain of Okruhla outside the Northern Slovakian village of Turzovka in 1958. I highly recommend this article because the story of the peasant of Turzovka, who endured months of torture and imprisonment under the communists because of his visions of the Blessed  Mother,  is  so moving and inspiring. Turzovka has now become a major pilgrimage site and bears striking similarities to the shrine of Litmanova. Both shrines, like Lourdes,  contain sacred springs that have been the occasions of healings. Both apparitions are also linked with Garabandal and Medugorje in that they contain calls to prayer and sacrifice, a return to the sacraments with purity of heart and intention. a renewed call to prayer, a request for fasting on bread and water on Wednesday and Thursday,  warnings of 'future chastisements' if the world does not repent from it's sins, and the explanation that prayer, penance, sacrifice and fasting when undertaken with purity of heart, are capable of healing a sinful world. 

This is just the simplest of summaries. Litmanova, however, contains the very striking and unusual condemnation of the first Gulf War in 1991, with the Lady of the visions saying, "This was not God's will. Nations have simply come under the sway of sin." At first I was tempted to believe this might be an embellishment on the part of the visionary, tempted to insert her own commentary on the times, until I read her disclaimer that (at the age of 12) she hardly understood the conflict at all or what Our Lady was referring to. When one considers what we now know to be fact, that contrary to US assertions, diplomatic solutions to the crisis of the invasion of Kuwait had not even been attempted, let alone exhausted, that Sadam Hussein was desperate for a diplomatic solution to get himself out of the mess he had stumbled into through his own folly,  but that "Bush needed to bomb," it casts  a special light on this Marian statement. We should add to this the figures from UNESCO that over half a million Iraqi children died as a direct result of the first Gulf War, largely from having drunk the poisoned water supplies because the  US air force bombed all of the water treatment and sewage disposal plants of all of Iraq's major cities, a major war crime under the Geneva conventions, which the US brazenly denied in 1994, and then just as brazenly admitted in 1999.  In light of that now established fact, the condemnation of the Lady of Litmanova does not seem all that startling. And in light of the revelations of sexual abuse within the clergy, all the way to the top, not to mention the financial corruption at the heart of the Vatican, one need not be surprised by this statement from Conchita Gonzales, the lead visionary of Garabandal. "Our Lady says that many cardinals, bishops and priests are on the way to perdition." Conchita found this statement so shocking that when she first transmitted it, she edited it to say, "Many priests are on the way to perdition," rationalizing to herself that Cardinals and bishops were also priests. She then felt reprimanded interiorly and told to relay the statement exactly as she had heard it. Indeed. 

And yet...and it is a big 'and yet'...when one goes on line and accesses some of these Marian sites devoted to the apparitions of Garabandal and Medugorje, statements like the latter from Conchita Gonzales are almost immediately tied to the wicked Cardinals, Bishops and priests who engineered Vatican II, who are soft on abortion and approving of homosexual relations and same-sex marriage. I came across one spirited discussion that went something like this.

Referring to the 'warnings' of future chastisements if the world does not repent, one woman said,

"Well, Our Lady did say the chastisements could be mitigated if the world repented. Has the world repented (in 2009, the date of this discussion)?

Her chat companion: Not at all. It's worse than ever.

1st Woman: You're right there and the two biggest evils in the world are abortion and homosexuality. 

This is only a small example of what's out there, and I don't recommend wading through this stuff, because much of it is very toxic. But it does explain why so many 'progressives' are so turned off of these Marian apparitions. They seem to be 'owned' by the radical right wing of the Church, who make the loudest noises, and use the apparitions as a big club to beat over the head anyone who disagrees with their limited vision of the church. I suppose this is why it is so important that 'outsiders' such as myself witness to the many graces we have received through these Marian sites, graces that include unconditional and loving acceptance of our gay natures and our gay vocations to love others of the same sex.

And that brings me to the point of the title of this post. Wandering around on line, I came across a number of sites asserting that Medugorje is an evil invention of the devil and that the proof of this is that many known pedophiles, convicted molester priests, defrocked priests and fake priests have gone to Medugorje and in some cases led pilgrimages of young boys to Medugorje. The level of toxic hate displayed on some of these sites is beyond shocking.

But then, I came across this very interesting statement - highlighted in shocking red (which I tried to remove, but which remain stuck there like a virus!):

BISHOP CAWCUTT'S PORNO WEB SITE FOR PRIESTS

AND MEDJUGORJE

                South African Bishop Has Ties to Medjugorje And Pornographic Website

Bishop Reginald Michael Cawcutt is listed in Denis Nolan's book as a Medjugorje supporter. Cawcutt is Auxiliary Bishop of Cape Town, South Africa. According to news articles, "Bishop Cawcutt betrays no qualms about having an openly supportive stand for Dignity, an organization of active homosexuals which has been banned by the church". But that didn't stop the "Gospa" of Medjugorje from appearing in his church, just prior to mass, in January of 1997.

 
Fr. Slavko Barbaric states in his commentary, "Vicka and I took a long trip to South Africa." Slavko goes on to say, "All the while, Vicka had her daily meetings with Our Lady at the regular time, before the mass, and Mary always gave some advice, such as our needing to pray for the youth, for the church, for the Pope, for families." Slavko continues, "I can say that in these countries in Africa the message of Medjugorje is really being lived and passed on."


According to Slavko, "Many people there have accepted the message and we also met Bishop Reginald Cawcutt (who) celebrated the mass with us." The mass, according to Slavko, would have been said right after Vicka's visit with the "Gospa". What Slavko didn't comment on was whether or not Our Lady could have advised Vicka that, "The Archdiocese of Cape Town has a ministry to gay Catholics founded and headed by Cawcutt." Some people will say, "So what?" Well, here is so what!

Bishop Cawcutt has openly stated that he is in favor of same sex marriages. If we know that, wouldn't it be obvious that our Blessed Mother would know that? Why didn't she warn Vicka?

Back to me again:

Why indeed? I suppose it's simply too unthinkable for this commentator to consider the possibility that the "Gospa" of Medugorje is actually in favor of the Bishop's supportive stand both for Dignity and for same sex marriages. But as a believer in the apparitions of Medugorje and the core integrity of both the visionary Vicka and the exemplary Father Slavko, I glean a very different message from the fact that the Gospa graced his church with an apparition for Vicka. This is good news indeed, but it is yet another example of why Medugorje is so hated by so many virulent, right wing Catholics out there. It's just too open minded and tolerant.

Finally...what about the 'pornographic website?" I was going to post the link to it, but have decided not to. If anyone feels they absolutely have to view it and read the comments, they can email me and I will send them the link (though it is really old news from 2001). It is a support network for gay priests trying to come to terms with their sexuality, and many of the comments are quite open and frank. A few of them are salacious, most are deeply moving and heartrending, many of them are deeply spiritual ( a fact which sailed over the head of this outraged commentator), and a number of them testify to the fact that some of the priests are sexually active. It is, in fact, quite an extraordinary source of information about the tragic lives of many closeted gay priests in the church today. Some of the comments are a bit shocking, even crude, but most are not. The bishop's comments are clearly meant to offer support and encouragement and spiritual guidance, but because it is inter-familia - they are not the comments you would want the bishop to make at the local altar society tea. I have sat through many a pre dinner drinking session with parish priests, when I was a Jesuit, to immediately recognize the flavor of the comments. No better, no worse, but on the whole deeply moving and sad. 

What about....shock, horror...the pornographic images. Well, our exposer of this horrendous site warns the viewers with throbbing giant capital red letters of "EXTREMELY OFFENSIVE PORNOGRAPHIC IMAGES: CLICK HERE." So of course, I clicked, and this is what I found. 

The customary iconic image of St. Sebastian, hanging naked from the tree, body pierced with arrows - but a side view, nothing full frontal.

Three saucy men wagging their behinds in front of the camera.

Three beafy men wearing nothing but cowboy boots and silly grins, holding their cowboy hats over their groins.

One fit young man wading into the sea, presenting us with a view of his gistening buttocks.

And last but not least - shock, horror - a shot up a Scottish kilt, obviously censored by the sender of the photo, not our outraged commentator, who was so beside himself with rage  that he spewed spittle all over the page (my little embellishment there).

However, to try and be balanced and fair, there is a link to another site, RCF, which acts as a watchdog on offending priests, especially high ranking prelates suspected of engaging in sexual activities. The site is clearly hostile to gays, but I can't say it's efforts are entirely reprehensible. There is a lot of 'stuff' out there that needs to come out into the open. The latest appeal on the site is for any information related to Archbishop Levada. Very interesting.

But to end on a positive note, I found the simple 'fact' of an apparition having taken place in the  church of openly supportive Bishop Cawcutt, to be...well, not insignificant. Not a direct, positive affirmation, but an affirmation nonetheless. Here is a negative review from the Seattle Catholic, 2001, which one may interpret as one sees fit. Seems like a very sensible, wise pastor to me. But then, of course, I'm prejudiced.

SEATTLE CATHOLIC

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SLOVAKIA AND MARY

 

TAKEN WITH GRATITUDE AND RESPECT FROM SANCTUS CHRISTOPHER BLOGSPOT)

Slovakia: A Distinctly Marian Nation

Most people tend to get confused when speaking of the numerous nations that make up Central Europe. Lithuania, Hungary, and Slovenia - I confidently bet that 98% of Americans couldn’t identify them on a blank map any better than they could the now-extinct territories of Brandenburg-Prussia, the United Duchies of Jülich-Cleves-Berg, or Farther-Pomerania. Who can blame them? It seems that borders and names change every generation. It’s so much work keeping up with them. The Peace of Westphalia, which set in motion a new political order of sovereignty, has hardly proven to be a peace. Empires still come and go with wars and treaties. Revolutions, invasions, and civil wars tear countries apart. The Russians and the Germans were especially adept at grabbing new lands and adding it to their rosters of conquest. And if you include the people a little further to the southeast, of the former Yugoslavia, it gets even muddier every day.

But nations are made up of people; people who share a common culture that grows within a common but vaguely defined piece of earth that has been sanctified by a common history. The further you get from that center of commonality, the more blurred it becomes until eventually you have a different people, a different culture, and a different nation. The border is where cultures mix. Try as one might to define where a nation begins, it’s ultimately up to the people who live there to decide it.

The brokers behind the ill-conceived Treaty of Versailles made little of this truth and in 1918 overnight created a country called Czechoslovakia. Most people I meet today still use this name to describe that place below Poland and east of Germany. It doesn’t exist though and it never did, it was always two nations. The Czechs and the Slovaks. Two different languages. Two different histories. Two different cultures. Friendly with each other but definitely two different peoples. Their amicable separation in 1993 is proof of that.

Devotion to the Mother of God

What the Czechs and the Slovaks have had in common since their introduction to the Gospel is the love of the Holy Virgin Mary. Because in that borderland between the Czechs and the Slovaks was the site of the great miracle where the Mother of God raised up her Son and turned back the rampaging Mongols. This was an event that these two distinct peoples shared (as I wrote about in Our Lady of Hostyn), where the Madonna became Queen of the Marian Gardens that are Bohemia and Moravia and Silesia and Slovakia (Those of Sub-Carpathian-Rus ancestry, I’m not forgetting you, but yours belongs to the Slovak/Hungarian/Russian mix of culture that shares so much more with the Ukraine).

Despite more than 1,000 churches, chapels, and shrines dedicated to her honor in the Czech Republic, it’s interesting to note that the Blessed Virgin has never been given patronage of the peoples there. St. Wenceslaus, St. Adalbert, St. Ludmila, St. Prokop and St. Agnes of Bohemia among others have all been officially recognized at one time or another as the caretakers of the Czechs. Slovakia on the other hand, acknowledges only two, both of whom delivered Christ to them: St. Cyril and St. Mary.

Evidence of Slovakia’s devotion to Mary is shown in the shrines that stretch back in time nearly a thousand years, in the old Marian hymns and songs so lovingly composed in the Slovak language, in every home where the sanctity of the family and the purity of youth has been so jealously preserved. Along mountain passes, dangerous curves, river crossings, and just about anywhere that protection or help is needed, you’d always find a picture or statue of the Virgin Mary.

Our Lady of Sorrows of Šaštín

In 1564, part of Slovakia was under control of Lord Imrich Czobor, Vice-Palatine of Hungary, who was known for his cruelty to his pious wife, Angelica. One day while riding in a carriage through the town of Šaštín, near the edges of Moravia, Imrich became so enraged during an argument with Angelica that he stopped the carriage, kicked her out onto the side of the road, and left her there.

Humiliated before the simple townspeople, she fell to her knees and with tears in her eyes began praying aloud to Our Lady of Sorrow (103 years before the title was officially approved by the Vatican). She promised to erect a statue of the Virgin Mary if she would only change her husband’s cold heart and bring love to her dead marriage. When she looked up, the carriage was turning around. From that day onward, Imrich never again raised his voice or his hand to Angelica and their love became famous.

Angelica kept her promise to the Virgin and commissioned a wooden statue of Mary as Our Lady of Sorrows with Christ spread across her lap. It was placed in a small shrine in the town and all of the residents flocked to see it. Word of miraculous cures and granted favors began to spread and soon people flocked from all around the countryside to visit it. For over one hundred and fifty years it grew in its magnetism as a place of pilgrimage. Finally in 1732, before a crush of 20,000 pilgrims, the archbishop of Estergom proclaimed the statue to be responsible for 726 miracles. A large church with an adjoining monastery was built to house it. In 1927, Pope Pius XI declared Our Lady of Seven Sorrows to be the patroness of Slovakia.

The second half of the twentieth century brought new character to Marian devotion in Slovakia. In 1964 Pope Paul VI bestowed the title of Basilica Minor on the church at Šaštín. Meanwhile, the Slovakian bishops, still under the Communist yoke, named Our Lady of Sorrows of Šaštín the Protector of Slovakia. And in Washington DC, before there was a “Czech shrine” dedicated at the Basilica of the Shrine of the Immaculate Conception, there was already a “Slovak shrine,” dedicated in 1965 to Our Lady of Seven Sorrows.

These recent events had all been given supporting momentum by an apparition that took place in 1958 which the visionary Theresa Neumann predicted was destined to become “the second Lourdes, of Slovakia.” See below for posting on "Our Lady of Turzovka," also borrowed from Sanctus Christopher blogspot!

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OUR LADY OF TURZOVKA, SLOVAKIA

(taken with heartfelt thanks from Sanctus Christopher Blogspot)

Our Lady of Turzovka

Matus Lasut was by all accounts a simple man. From the age of five, when his mother died, he’d learned to bear hardships as a normal part of life. He grew up tending cows, often sleeping with them in the barn on a bed of straw. His family needed his back, not his brain, to survive so his formal education was limited to just the winter months. His real education took place in his work, where he learned to scratch out a living in the rocky soils of northwestern Slovakia. During the years of violent transition that his country went through – from an independent Czechoslovakian nation to a Nazi puppet state to a Communist satellite of the Soviets – Matus always worked the land. He labored quietly as a woodcutter until he was promoted to the respectable position of forest ranger by the local government.

His faith was simple also. Without a mother to instruct him, he had nevertheless learned the basics of being Catholic. He knew the Our Father and the Hail Mary and he understood a few points of the catechism. He followed the Church’s requirements regarding his marriage and the baptism of his children but he wasn’t so fervent when it came to Mass and confession and communion, not to mention charity for his fellow men. He didn’t particularly like many people but the ones he disliked he made certain they knew it. His faith wasn’t lacking so much as it was lazy. Yet Matus retained throughout his life an aspect that was characteristic of all Slovakians regardless of status, a second-natured devotion to Mary.

So it was on June 1, 1958 that Matus was making his rounds on Okruhla, a mountain near the village of Turzovka. As usual, just before 9 am, he stopped at a spot on the side of the mountain called Zivcak (literally meaning “at the picture”). On a pine tree by the side of the trail was an icon of the Mother of God of Perpetual Help and it was here that he knelt to pray:

“I quickly prayed the Pater Noster and Hail Mary, but before I finished, at the end of Hail Mary, all of a sudden I spotted a short flash of light on my left side. I looked in that direction and to my amazement I saw at a distance of approximately 12 meters, a statue of Our Lady of Lourdes about two meters above the ground as if on a mound...

“A faint gust of wind coming from the east slightly moved her veil to reveal on the left side of her head a lock of light chestnut-colored hair... I realized that this was no statue but a living being standing on a tiny cloud as if it was made from a mist...”

Matus went on to describe her as having folded hands and wearing a crown of twelve stars. Her hair fell over her shoulders from beneath a gold-edged veil of white that stretched to her feet. A blue girdle, also edged with gold, cinched her snowy-white dress. On each foot rested a rose of gold.

Hanging over her right arm was a rosary that reached to her knees – white beads for the Aves and gold ones for the Paters. Interestingly, though the vision indeed strongly resembled Our Lady of Lourdes, the rosary that she held was of five decades, not the six decade one described by St. Bernadette.

A field of white roses suddenly appeared below the Lady and surrounding it was a white picket fence; three of the boards were loose. The lady looked at Matus and pointed to where there was a little hammer and some nails. Matus immediately understood that she wanted him to repair the fence. Unquestioningly, he bent down and set to work. Upon completion, the lady seemed pleased. She then smiled at Matus, held out her arm and gently shook the rosary she was holding. He knew that she was asking him to pray the rosary – only Matus had never learned that special prayer of Our Lady.

Before his embarrassment overtook him, the Lady turned her head in the direction of the tree where her icon stood. Matus followed her glance. Before the pine was a canvas showing a map of the world and below it was a black screen.

The map depicted was not unusual in that the oceans between the continents were blue and the land was variously colored green and yellow. Matus was made to understand that the green signified nations that were good, pleasing to God. The yellow were those countries that had abandoned Him. At first, the colors were stable but soon they began to blur and shift until the entire map was yellow. Little explosions erupted on the map, first on the coasts and in the oceans. Eventually the whole world was in flames. On the black screen below the image, these words appeared:

Repent! Pray for priests and the religious! Pray the Rosary!

Frightened and confused, Matus looked back at the Lady. She motioned for him to look above her and a flash of lightning cracked the sky in the shape of a triangle. From the hole in the sky, Christ emerged in all His majesty, wearing a long white robe and with a red cape draped over his shoulder. Under his left arm he carried a cross and in the middle of his chest there pulsed an image of his Sacred Heart. Three brilliant rays shot forth from the Heart. Two passed by each side of Matus but center one flashed right through him and he shut his eyes and collapsed to the ground.

He awoke to the sound of bells. They were the bells of the nearby church announcing the Angelus – it was noon – he had been there for three hours.

He sat up and looked around. The map was gone, as were the flowers and the fence. And the Lady was gone too, but on a rock just below where she had appeared, lay her rosary. He picked it up and began to pray. The Glorious Mysteries formed miraculously on his lips.

When Matus finished his rosary, the understanding came to him that the three fence-boards that the Lady had asked him to repair were indicative of the repairs that he needed to make in his own life. They were his three main shortcomings and he was supposed to fix them through the prayer of the Holy Rosary, the receiving of the Sacraments frequently, and a friendship with all people.

“After the apparition, I felt a great infusion of faith. First of all, I had to make peace with people whom I had come into conflict with. I would like to have avoided it but felt I had to do this. After returning from the mountain that very evening I went to beg forgiveness from all those people in Turzovka and the surrounding area. I did it as if against my own will. I took me until late in the night. People were surprised, some laughed at me, others thought that I had gone insane. The next day in the morning, I made confession and went to communion. From that time on, I was released from all my illness; first of all from heavy cough which had troubled me for many years and which the doctors claimed to be incurable.”

He told no one of what he had seen.

Matus was visited six more times at Zivcak by the Lady. Each time she appeared the same way, as Our Lady of Lourdes, and each time a vision was given to him in the same way, on a screen with words subtitled below it. Each vision dealt with the sinful condition of the world and the coming of a divine chastisement that could only be put off through prayer and penance. He gave a general description of some of his visions but he also saw specific names, places, and dates which he would keep secret from everyone except the Holy Father. (The Vatican has never made these revelations public, probably as the events are still under review). On the seventh and final appearance on August 14, 1958, she came under the guise of the Immaculate Conception.

During the time that Matus was having his visions, people began to notice a marked change in him. They pestered and questioned him until finally he broke his silence and told his story. On September 8th, the feast of the Nativity of Mary, a thousand people accompanied him on a visit to the icon on the hill. There, he surprised his new friends by announcing that in three days, he would be imprisoned.

That night, a police car stopped at his front door. Neighbors flocked to Matus’ house and prevented him from being taken away but he was ordered to appear at the police station the next day on charges of inciting insurrection. The communist authorities were not about to brook any supernatural resistance to their authority. He did as ordered, and two days later they decided it would be better to classify him as mentally ill; he was confined to a psychiatric hospital “for his own protection.”

Matus Lasut was moved in and out of various prisons and hospitals by the “committees” in charge of his case. He faced nineteen separate investigations and signed 120 sworn testimonies. During the course of his investigation, he was often subject to twice-daily interrogations. Electrocution. Hypnotism. Chemical cures.

Matus never broke and never renounced his story. From the official records kept during one inquisition, the simple forest ranger reaffirmed his faith to the procurator:

“Mr. Procurator, do you have a mother?”

“Yes, naturally.”

“And could you deny your mother?”

“No, this I could not do.”

“So, you can see why I cannot deny my heavenly mother either.”

After five years, Matus Lasut was finally released from prison but lived under constant surveillance for the rest of his life. Left half-blind and nearly toothless from the “treatments” inflicted upon him, he went right back to returning to his mountain. He found that despite attempts by the police to deter pilgrims by cutting down trees and burning images of the Holy Virgin, the site of the apparitions was growing dearer and stronger in the hearts of his countrymen every day. In fact, visitors from other parts of Czechoslovakia began to trickle in to Turzovka and soon they followed by Austrians and Germans and others. Many offered money to Matus but he never accepted a penny, preferring to live out his life in poverty.

But the story of Our Lady of Turzovka doesn’t end there.

The remainder of the story begins with a man named Jaroslav Zaalenka. He had a dream in which a beautiful lady told him to go up to the mountain (Okruhla) and dig. Not understanding what he was supposed to do, he didn’t follow her directions until after the third night of the same dream. He brought his shovel to the mountain and wandered around looking for a place he should dig. At a loss for guidance, he picked a random place that wasn’t too rocky. No sooner had he begun when the lady from his dream suddenly appeared and spoke to him. “Not here,” she said, “but over there, where you see those ferns.” He walked over to the ferns and set his shovel below the roots. As his foot pushed the shovel into soft ground, the ferns vanished and water began to bubble up. He turned to look back at the lady but she was gone. Six more springs formed on the mountain over the ensuing years when there had never been a single one recorded in its history.

Word of miraculous cures began to spread.

Nuns, priests, doctors, engineers, and people from all walks of life swore to the healing effects of this water. Lung cancer. Blindness. Paralysis. Soon, upon request, jars of the water were being sent to Rome. The prophecy reportedly made by the visionary and stigmatist Therese Neumann to Slovakian Bishop Karol Kaspar in the 1920’s had apparently been fulfilled: "In a few years, you will have in Slovakia another Lourdes where you will go on pilgrimages." Even the name of Padre Pio was brought into the mix after he wrote in a letter to a Slovakian Jesuit priest, "Turzovka - ít is an authentic apparition. In time, it will become the Slovak Lourdes!"

Turzovka grew beyond control. Visions and voices and unexplainable events spread like a contagion among those who visited the site. Perhaps through modern eyes, jaded by the experience of so many hoaxes and false apparitions, we might see the related phenomena as fakeries by hucksters or hallucinations by “groupies.” Yet, looking at each case individually, there seems to be nothing malicious, nothing sinister behind them. There doesn’t seem to have been an “industry” that profited from the appearance of Our Lady. Nothing but good seems to have come of it. And nothing contrary to the Faith.

One of the more tender stories , of typically Slovakian flavor, regards a bus filled with passengers that stopped at Cadca, a village about 10 kilometers from Turzovka. A barefooted woman with a rosary in her belt boarded the bus. “Where are you going?” the driver asked her. “Turzovka,” she replied. The driver calculated the fare and handed her a ticket but the woman said that she had no money to pay for it. One of the passengers offered to pay her fare but the woman smiled at him and said she couldn’t accept his offer because he already had three children at home for whom he must care.

The driver, feeling pity for the woman, then offered to pay for her himself. He was taken aback when she told him that she could not accept his help either because although he was not married, she knew that wanted to be. He indeed did need to save every coin for the hard times that he would soon be facing.

By this time, the passengers had begun to pay attention. One of them came up with the idea for everyone aboard to each pay a tiny portion of her fare. The lady agreed to this but before she took a seat, someone insisted that she first show her identification as no one had ever seen her in those parts before.

The lady looked at the bus driver and announced that her ID was in his pocket. The surprised driver reached into his jacket. All that was there was a holy card picturing the Holy Virgin.

The woman disappeared before their eyes.

An extensive list of miracles and stories is still being compiled to this day at this “Lourdes of Slovakia.” Perhaps the greatest miracle to occur though, was that Slovakia and its faithful devotion to the Mother of God, survived through decades of relentless persecution to outlast the Soviet Union. After the communists departed, the dream of millions finally came true. A permanent shrine was finally allowed to be built at the site of the apparitions in 1993.

Very few English sources are available on the internet regarding Our Lady of Turzovka. Here are two with a more complete description of the messages as well as more miracle stories.

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MARY'S LITMANOVA

I just received this beautiful comment from a good former priest friend of mine in Thailand, responding to the previous posting of July 25th,  on The Virgin and the Rent Boy. It made me realize I have to overcome my hesitations and complete these reflections on this very holy Marian site in Northern Slovakia. I've been holding back because so much of the experience was very personal to me, but I intend to focus on the village and shrine itself and what it seems to mean for the people of Slovakia and for the Church as a whole.

Dear Jayden,
This entry stirs up so much!It takes me back to my first visit to Slovakia in 1974, not that long after the stifling of the Prague Spring. Dubcek's attempt to create "Socialism with a human face" had failed, but that didn't stop ordinary Slovaks of all ages from pouring into the churches on all days of the week. Joining them in an afternoon weekday Mass in Bratislava, I could feel their unabashed faith as palpably alive and unquenchable. Like that of Michel's grandmother. Like that of so many devotees in Thailand's Buddhist temples.

I have also felt Montmartre's Sacre Coeur as a holy place but was never fully aware of the triumphalistic reasons behind its creation. That makes your own experience there all the more meaningful, and you put it so well: "...triumphalism on the outside, a sacred mystery within ... which in fact far transcends its powers of control." The cri de coeur which you heard there as well as in your Jesuit novitiate and at Litmanova is certainly being sent into the hearts of thousands of Christians across the world. The more we respond with efforts like yours to open ourselves to the Spirit's healing power for ourselves and the Church, the more the "sacred mystery within" will shine forth upon the whole world instead of being hidden under the bushel basket of institutional triumphalism.

Thanks for reminding us of God's living presence in every human heart through sharing your friendship with former rent boy Michel and how it led you to Litmanova. Thanks for witnessing so vividly to how God's radiance upholds, permeates,and shines upon this broken world through the simplest of our actions.

Ed Vargo in Thailand

to be continued

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Rubbing Elbows with the Archbishop

Still reflecting on Litmanova and hope to complete the series soon: Until then, here's a little dity.

I've been attending the Early Music Festival in Prague for the past few days with some extraordinary world class musicians descending on the city to give us the benefit of their marvelous artistry. Last evening I attended the violin concert of Harmonie Universelle from Germany, playing early Baroque pieces of composers Biber, Schmelzer and Muffat. Can't say I've ever heard of any of these folks, but that's always the wonder with these kinds of concerts, presenting to us long hidden, neglected masterpieces by composers who never made the superstar list. I'm always in awe of the remarkable dedication of these musicians, devoting so much of their lives to hidden works of art of unknown composers. How do they make a living doing stuff like this?

The concert took place in the recently renovated Dominican Convent Refectory, one of the secret little enclaves in this golden city - and we have so many of these hidden treasures. Here are some photos:

I sat in the second row, directly behind Prague's recently appointed Archbishop, Dominik Duka O.P., who was imprisoned during the communist years for a time and served as both novice master and regional provincial of the Dominican order. Seems like a decent caring fellow, but obviously plugged into the ecclesiastical system.  Sitting next to him was the Papal Nuncio, Msgr.Diego Causero. And filling up the rest of the seats - the upper crust of Prague society and the hoity toity, dressed elegantly for this warm but sprinkly summer evening, the occasional wandering tourist - and me. So life goes on as it has for centuries at these kinds of events, with the wine flowing freely and the canapes presented adroitly, with the Archbishop and the Nuncio and we.....Did I forget to mention that the concert was glorious - beyond glorious and the musicians were dressed in blue jeans and t-shirts! Dress jeans and stylish T shirts, to be sure, but casual wear all the same. Summer in Prague. 

Tonight I'm going to St. Agnes Convent (no longer under the auspices of the Catholic Church, very much de-consecrated,) to hear the world renowned Bruce Dikey play the cornetto (the who?), accompanied by Paulina Victorina van Laarhoven on the viola de gamba, together with the ensemble La Violetta, also playing cornetto, harp, harpsichord and organ, playing ornamented madrigals of Ortiz, Lasso and Rossi. The Archbishop, I fear, will not be in attendance.

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THE GODDESS OF PATTAYA

I'm still trying to catch my breath after the last posting and waiting for the right moment to continue the reflections on the Marion Shrine of Litmanova, which, by the way, celebrates its 20th anniversary on August 8th, less than two weeks away, when more than 200,000 pilgrims are expected to ascend the holy mountain in the company of the two original visionaries. The very generous young priest in charge of the shrine, Father Vasil, has invited me to the event and offered to let me stay in his house in town. I'm still praying over that invitation at the moment.

However, because this is an inclusive blog, dedicated to openness and appreciation of other faith traditions, I felt that I should go on record and say (before I get too carried away with Marion apparitions) that I believe that "Jesus and Mary" exist within a much larger universe of spiritual beings, far, far more expansive and mysterious than orthodox Christianity is yet capable of comprehending. To make this point, I offer this brief anecdote.

Two and a half hours south of Bangkok, Thailand, is the beautiful seaside resort of Pattaya, the nearest major beach resort to the capitol. During the thirty years I lived in the country, I made frequent trips to the resort, usually staying south of the main city, far away from the honky tonk atmosphere. Apart from its spectacular scenic beauty, Pattaya is also notorious for its vital, heart pounding sex industry, with thousands of young women and several hundred boys working the hundreds and hundreds of go-go bars. However, one can find secluded, beautiful beaches south of the city with beautiful hotels surrounded by the assortment of pizzerias, souvenir shops, tailors, 7'11's, so that one need never leave the area.  My favorite location was Cozy Beach and the Cozy Beach Hotel (one of ten in the area -and I can hear my friends gnashing their teeth and saying, "No, no, don't give the secret away!).

To the north of the city, however, is located the five star hotel, The Dusit Resort (which has since changed it's name to the Dusit Thani Pattaya Hotel) one of the most aesthetically beautiful hotels in all of Thailand. I've visited here frequently, dined here many times, stayed here a few times because it is quite pricey. But every time I've walked into the grounds I've been overcome by a sense of profound sacredness and this feeling has increased in intensity as one walks through the grounds and heads out past the swimming pool to the point that faces the expansive Pattaya Bay. Every single time I've been out here, I've felt the presence of a divine feminine being, who seems to be watching over the thousands of young women working the sex trade. The sense of presence was so holy and compassionate and profound, a presence that seems to envelop all who come here. My good friend, John McConville, whom I've known since our Jesuit novitiate days in the 60's, has also felt her presence on numerous occasions and we both 'know' that she is distinct from the 'Blessed Virgin Mary' of the Catholic tradition. Who could she be?

Living in  Thailand at the time was a good friend of ours, Len Cranmer, who was a practicing psychic of recognized spiritual gifts - though Len hates the designation 'psychic,' because he feels it gives people false expectations when they meet him that he is some kind of fortune teller. He prefers the term, "metaphysical healer." Len is a 'spiritualist,' meaning he believes that Jesus is a radiantly enlightened being, but not the only such figure in human history, and he believes not only that we reincarnate many times on this earth, learning numerous lessons each time, but that we choose the circumstances of each incarnation. So I decided to invite Len to the Dusit Resort for dinner and rather shrewdly, I didn't tell him my motivation for doing so. However, being a very gifted person, Len caught on that something was afoot. When I walked him through the grounds, he said simply, "This is a sacred place and it has a sacred history." When we reached the swimming pool, before walking out to the point, he stopped and said - as if it were the most natural thing in the world - "Oh, there is a goddess here." I said, "really." He smiled, looked at me, and said, "Yes, but you knew that already, didn't you." We walked out onto the point and Len said, "Oh, she is very powerful and she is here to watch over the many women who suffer in this city. Very powerful indeed," and he remained silent for a while, wafting in her atmosphere, almost like the aromas of a fine cigar ( a crude image, but the best I can do.). After dinner, Len wanted to explore the matter a little, so we walked up to the front desk and asked the lovely Thai staff if they knew anything about the history of the point where the resort was located. We received many lovely smiles and looks of incomprehension. No, they didn't, they told us, but maybe we should ask the personnel manager, Khun Saowapa, who would be in her office in the morning. She had been with the hotel since its founding, almost thirty years ago! We thanked the Thai staff and made a resolution to have breakfast in the hotel the following morning and have a chat with Khun Saowapa. 

The following morning, after indulging ourselves at the fabulous breakfast buffet, replete with fresh lobster, giant prawns, smoked salmon, oysters in the half shell - and champagne, we made our way to the front desk and asked to speak with Khun Saowapa. We were greeted by a very charming older Thai woman in her 60's, wearing beautiful garments of Thai silk and a magnificent hand wrought silver necklace. When we said we wanted to ask her about the history of the hotel, she took us downstairs to her office. Following his instincts, Len went right to the point and asked Khun Saowapa if she had ever experienced any kind of special presence in the hotel or out on the point. Being a timid soul myself, I was aghast at his effrontery. Wasn't there a more tactful way of approaching the subject? Wrong! Khun Saowapa's eyes lit up and she said, "Oh, have you felt her? She doesn't make her presence known to just everyone, you know." Len said, "Oh, you mean the goddess on the point." Khun Saowapa explained, "Yes, but we don't like to speak of her too openly. Thai people are very superstitious, you know,  and very afraid of ghosts, and they would hesitate to stay here if they knew. Even the Thai staff are rather nervous about the experience, but I can assure you she will do no harm. You see, many years ago, there was a small Indian shrine dedicated to the Hindu god, Ganesha, on this point, and it was favored by the sea gypsies who were fisherman at that time, long before Pattaya was discovered as a resort. A young girl (and we don't know the exact circumstances) was brutally murdered by her lover on this point and her body was tossed into the sea. But the waves, instead of taking her far out to sea, brought her back to the shore, where she was eventually discovered. We don't really know who she was, but we feel her presence every day, and I've gotten quite used to her. That's why I've stayed at this hotel for so many years, it's a holy place to me. And if you look outside at the entrance to the hotel, you will see a large shrine dedicated to Ganesha, the Elephant god, with many flowers and gifts placed around it. Those are placed there mainly by the Thai staff, who are both grateful for the blessings of the Elephant god and the 'goddess of the point,' as you call her, as well as a little bit nervous about her, She seems to confirm for us the Thai belief that the 'world' is populated by spirits we cannot see, some benevolent and benign, some not so kindly disposed."

Len and I thanked Khun Saowapa for her graciousness to us and went for one final walk out to the point, where we both said a silent prayer to the goddess. Len was quite calm, as if nothing we had learned was particularly unusual, but I was completely taken aback. This was my first really intimate, personal encounter with a 'sacred being' completely outside the Christian, Catholic universe.  I had experienced the sacredness of many Buddhist temples, but never that 'personal' touch that usually characterizes our encounters with the Blessed Mother of Jesus.  However, I walked away from this conversation not sure of what was the more extraordinary element in this story, the presence of this gentle, compassionate 'goddess' who had manifested herself spiritually to us or this wonderful, gracious, cultivated and utterly civilized Thai woman who had served at this hotel for over thirty years because, as she explained it, she felt called to serve the secret mystery of "the goddess of Pattaya."

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