Showing posts with label gay marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gay marriage. Show all posts

Jun 23, 2014

Texas Gay Dads denied parental rights to their own twin sons


A heartbreaking story is going viral over the internet waves today about a charming and charismatic gay couple, Jason Hanna and Joe Riggs, who have been denied parental rights in Texas to their own twin sons. The case is complex and baffling in the extreme, but put simply, both men hired a surrogate mother to carry donated eggs (not her own), and each father fertilized one of the eggs, so that both boys share the same biological mother source, but each has been 'fathered' by one of the men. What a beautiful and mystical way to have brought these two boys into the world and into the blessed family of Jason and Joe. What a remarkable symbol of family these two men have forged through this birthing. Yet a stubborn Texas judge has denied both men the right to be listed as the father on either of the boy's birth certificates, that's right, not even on the birth certificate of their own biological child. It is the kind of case that makes one want to tear one's hair out - or to go back and read the articles again and again convinced you must have missed something. I've done this and I can't make any sense out of the case, but it does state clearly the men have been denied the right to be listed as the father even on the birth certificate of their own biological child. The case gets even more complicated when one considers the well being of both boys together, should one of their fathers pass away unexpectedly. 

However, rather than rant on the subject - actually the Family Equality Council has said it best -

“This case clearly illustrates the concrete harms that LGBTQ families face on a daily basis in states like Texas, which have few protections in place for them," said Family Equality Council Executive Director, Gabriel Blau. “This judge was wrong on moral, ethical, and legal grounds.  It is time for judges and others in positions of authority to put the best interests of children first. Judges and lawmakers should stop denying loving, committed families the protections they need to take care of one another. As the patchwork of laws affecting LGBTQ families across this country continue to cause uncertainty, we will continue to push for both legal and lived equality for all families, and we are grateful to Jason and Joe for standing up and telling their story.”

Instead of ranting over this case, however, I was immediately struck by its many positive aspects. First both of these men are poster 'boys' for gay families. You couldn't ask for a more charismatic, photogenic pair, glowing with health and happiness. This photo below radiates the men's own deep affection for one another, and presents a balanced visual image of relational love between the same sexes. How could anyone find this unwholesome, unhealthy, unloving or immoral? Well, only persons who do not have eyes to see, and whose ideological view of the world is more important to them than the test of lived experience.


Secondly, the outpouring of support for these men has been overwhelming, because the case is so egregiously unfair. Check out the comments sections of both of the articles below, and watch the commentators attempt to make sense of the convoluted legal complexities of the case and offer helpful advice. You would think that the case is simply about the wish (and the right) of each of the men to legally adopt the other's child, of which they are not the biological parent. But in fact, it seems to be worse than that. 

Each of the men is a biological father to one of the babies. But, because Texas has a ban on gay marriage (it was ruled unconstitutional by a federal judge last February, but the decision was stayed pending appeal), and because a judge can use his or her own discretion in these cases, neither of the men is currently on the birth certificates of either of the boys, nor have they been able to co-adopt each other’s biological child. HUFFINGTON POST

Fox News gave a fairly positive spin on the story, while explaining the legal complexities, and the judge's final comment that she 'strictly follows the law'. But a law which denies a father the right to be listed even on the birth certificate of his own biological child is obscene. 

See the story and many other updates at Glaad Org. 

See also the Huffington Post article, with many great comments. 

One of the more insightful comments went something like this: They seem like such bright, intelligent caring men. What on earth are they doing living in Texas? I have to say that was my first reaction as well. For the sake of the two boys, isn't it time to relocate? Both men were legally married in Washington DC last February. Perhaps they need to consider relocation to a state that would recognize their marriage and grant them full parental rights over their children. However, that's an easy suggestion to make when one doesn't have to deal with the consequences. Their family roots may be very deep in Texas, as well as their vocational ties.

What is clear is that the case is making headlines around the nation (and the world) and only highlights the urgent need to get rid of these antiquated discriminatory laws. If ever there were a case that was 'providentially designed' to elicit both sympathy for gay marriage and outrage over the injustices when it is denied, it is this one.

May Blessings fall from the heavens upon Jason and Joe, Lucas and Ethan. 





May 8, 2014

Pope Francis Speaks Out Against Non Traditional Marriage

This disheartening news will soon be all over the Catholic blog-o-sphere. Speaking to a delegation from the International Catholic Child Bureau, Pope Francis said, 


"it is necessary to emphasize the right of children to grow up within a family, with a father and a mother able to create a suitable environment for their development and emotional maturity. Continuing to mature in the relationship, in the complementarity of the masculinity and femininity of a father and a mother, and thus preparing the way for emotional maturity," according to the Vatican Information Service.


Already, certain Catholic blogspots are rejoicing and sighing with relief, with comments such as this:

Hear, hear! The Holy Father is so right. But the gay marriage crowd will never get it.

However, the spirited commentary at the Facebook site that hosted this photo shows that plenty of sensible people are speaking up, out, and against the ignorance expressed in the pope's statement, and the rather sinister implication that endorsing gay marriage somehow undermines the rights of children. 

Commentary at the Advocate and other gay sites is predictably angry and sarcastic, ridiculing The Advocate's Choice of Pope Francis as Man of the Year. 

The best commentary I've seen so far comes from New Ways Ministry's Bondings 2 Blog, which tries its best to see the positive behind the negative, namely that while this statement of the Pope's will shock many and while it testifies to his long existing blind spot, it is also noteworthy that unlike his predecessor, he carefully avoids any condemnation of LGBT people themselves and their relationships. While it is not enough, it is a positive first step. 

For my own part, this statement simply highlights the fact that gay people still have a long long way to go before the Catholic Church unbends, unravels and divests itself of  it's homophobic attitudes. The Bondings Blog goes on to say that Francis has shown his willingness to learn. Let us hope he listens to the many voices that will soon come forward critiquing this present statement (and its accompanying statement that abuse victims need to forgive their abusers, rather than asking the abusers themselves to beg forgiveness of their victims. Again. Another shocking blind spot from this evidently good man, who nonetheless is trapped within the presuppositions of the system he serves.) 

Still, all positive spin notwithstanding, one does sigh in one's heart: How long, Lord, how long before this largest of the world's institutional religions shows some genuine sign of love and acceptance of gay people and their God given right to love and marry whom they choose? 

Dec 21, 2013

Blessings from Utah


What an inspiring gift we have all been given at the beginning of this Christmas season by the news coming out of Mormon Utah. Gay marriage has arrived in the most hardened state of the US union. What a joyous noel. 

Praise be to the Lord and Lady of the Universe watching over all of us. What a prophetic sign of contradiction for fundamentalist religions everywhere (and totalitarian states reincarnating themselves such as Putin's Russia). Them walls of Jericho will indeed come tumbling down with a loud and riotous clatter and shouts of joy and cries of release. Day by day in the face of religious intolerance, the Spirit shows her life giving Presence, not (usually) in the marbled corridors of ecclesiastical power, but more often down among us little people struggling to survive day by day without pomp and purple and circumstance. Blessings have come upon us all and let us be grateful for these brief moments of light and grace. May they continue to grow and may our faith and trust in a loving Providence continue to increase in the face of doubts, temptations and those dark, grey moments when 'God" seems all too silent. For this moment at least, the heavens shine and we are blessed.

And for some of the most joyous iconic moments of the year for LGBT people, especially transgendered, click here.

Some heart warming photos:







Nov 5, 2011

Ricky Martin, father of twin boys, to Marry in Catholic Spain



And on a more cheerful note, pop singer Ricky Martin has just been granted Spanish citizenship, by means of a letter of naturalization, "issued in special circumstances because of his personal and professional links with Spain."  

Spanish newspaper El Pais reported that Martin sought citizenship in order to marry boyfriend Carlos Gonzalez Abella, with whom he is bringing up his twin three-year-old sons.



Read the full story here at Pink News. 



Always nice to remember that Catholic Spain was the third country in the world to grant same sex marriages in 2005, helping to spark a world wide trend.

The sight of this high profile celebrity holding up his twin sons, Matteo and Valentino is also uplifting to the heart. Here are his comments on 'hands-on' parenting:

Discussing his hands-on parenting:

“I don’t have a nanny,” he says. “I’m doing this on my own because I don’t want to miss a moment. I have a personal assistant who helps me, someone who takes care of me while I’m taking care of them, but I’m the one who changes the diapers, the one that feeds them, the one that bathes them, the one that puts them to sleep. Then it starts all over again! I created structure for their eating and sleeping patterns — sometimes they cry at the same time, too. For any parent, the first couple of months tend to get a little bit intense. With twins, it’s double the love. But it also means I don’t get much sleep.”

What a wonderful comment, "With twins it's double the love," and what an inspiring role model for gay men everywhere.

“I’ve had many highlights in my life, but being a father has been the most amazing so far,” the singer shares. “I started this with a lot of love in my heart. I don’t think any other experience will ever get close.”
Read the full story here at PEOPLE. 


Ricky's comment about his soon-to-be husband, Carlos Gonzalez Abella:

My partner, my boyfriend is very sexy, very smart, very compassionate, but the most important thing [is] he loves my children. It’s very beautiful. Super cool. I am very happy.”

May 15, 2010

JOHN MCNEILL ON BENEDICT IN PORTUGAL

Once again, John McNeill has posted a very wise, compassionate and insightful response to Pope Benedict’s recent oblique reference to gay marriage as one of ‘the greatest threats to the human race.’ John reminds us that ‘gay marriage’ isn’t just about fairness and justice for gay people, it constitutes an essential gift to the culture at large by helping to heal the imbalance and defects of patriarchy. Therefore, gay people have an ethical responsibility to press for  equality of marriage that goes beyond our own personal needs and rights. We are called to offer a new paradigm of human relationships, one that is more human and fulfilling because both partners remain in touch with the masculine and feminine aspects of their psyches. Against all of the opposition and hatred, intolerance and bigotry, LGBT people must offer a service of love and justice to a wounded, confused and imbalanced world. However, as Terence Weldon reminds us frequently with his numerous stories at Queering the Church, LGBT are making advances each day in the most unlikely of places. The tide is turning and from the point of view of history, the recent intransigence of Church leaders towards gay marriage, however painful to contemplate, is just one small bump on the road.

Below are three paragraphs from John’s inspiring article, the beginning, middle and end. Please go to John’s website to read the whole article: John McNeil: Spiritual Transformation

On his recent pilgrimage to the shrine of Our Lady of Fatima in Portugal, Pope Benedict XVI used the occasion to announce that he thought the greatest threat to the human race, apart from abortion, was gay marriage! To my knowledge no mention was made of the nuclear arms race; no mention of the destruction of the environment; no mention of disease, poverty and starvation which afflict the vast majority of humanity; no mention of the decrease in respect for the sacred value of the human person which has led to a remarkable increase in genocide, violence, murder, torture and enslavement. Which leads me to wonder what alternate universe the Pope lives in; what alternate reality is he dealing with? ….

Jesus Christ’s message of equality and love has been contaminated by the institutions of patriarchy, male privilege, and the repression of the feminine. The time has come for the Church to cleanse itself and throw off these aberrations. Gay spiritual groups, I believe, are leading the way for the whole Church to bring about this transformation. The primary example of this liberation can be found in gay marriage. ….

Which brings us back to the question : Why is Pope Benedict XVI so consistently over the top with his homophobia and so out of touch with the reality of the LGBT world? He was willing, at least unconsciously, to destroy the celibate gay priesthood by forbidding gay men the right to ordination. The only explanation I can reach to understand the ferociousness of Benedict’s attack on the LGBT community is that unconsciously he is a self-hating gay man who projects out his fear and loathing on the gay community at large!