Mar 5, 2014

Ruminations on Pope Francis and Abuse, Edmund White 's New book, Gay culture and spirit

I'm still alive and kicking here in Prague, writing a spiritual gay crime novel set in Prague - and planning a move to Barcelona sometime in the next year.

The following reflections are really three postings in one, I just ran all the ramblings into one long disjointed discourse. Eventually, I will break them up into three.





Alas, good Pope Francis, a decent and sincere man to be sure, has just spoken out in defense of his Catholic Church and it's handling of the sexual abuse crisis, saying, (via the BBC)

"The Catholic Church is perhaps the only public institution to have acted with transparency and responsibility.
"No-one else has done more. Yet the Church is the only one to have been attacked."
This comment will undoubtedly cause dismay among abuse survivors around the world, and the reaction has already been strong:
Francesco Zanardi of Rete L'Abuso, told the BBC: "The cases of child abuse by priests continue to happen, all around Italy, and of the cases that we've denounced we have seen no results."
"The Pope may make this statement, but then the Vatican doesn't reply to the UN or impose the obligation that bishops should denounce accused priests in the courts and not deal with the cases internally."
Mr Zanardi also attacked the coverage of the abuse scandals, saying the media in Italy "adored" Pope Francis.
"We who work on this issue can see how real things are. Reality is very different to what the media say," he said.
This comment will bring to an end the grace filled honeymoon of Francis' one year term as head of the Catholic Church. It is now abundantly clear, that no matter his good will or genuinely spiritual nature, he is too much a product of the system to initiate real and radical change from within the heart of this ancient, moribund and sclerotic system.
Far from feeling this is a cause for despair, I find it yet another sign of the Spirit leading us beyond - far beyond - these major institutions in our search for spiritual fulfillment. The young are leaving the Church in droves, and rightly so, and there is no bringing them back. This is simply because the Spirit that guides all of us from within is guiding them to resist any major male centered institutions that denigrate the place of women and attack the rights of an oppressed minority like the LGBT community. Spiritual options are abundantly available elsewhere, mainly on the margins and in the byways. 
Yet isn't this always the case? When I was living in Thailand, two of it's greatest and most radical Buddhist monks, Pra Prachak of the Northeast (who has since left the monkhood) and the profoundly saintly Buddhadasa Bhikkhu were both deeply suspect in the eyes of the centralized Buddhist Sangha in Bangkok, who vilified them and persecuted them for years. It is rumored that the Sangha were behind some of the death threats hurled against Pra Prachak, which eventually caused him to leave the monkhood. Only the intervention of the revered King of Thailand prevented a similar fate for Buddhadasa Bhikkhu. There is very little difference between the rigidity of the Bangkok Sangha and the Vatican hierarchy. Such is the propensity of human nature to become addicted to power, religious and political power both, and to suspect and persecute those on the margins who truly follow the most radical spirit of their founders, whether the Buddha or the wandering Hebrew prophet, Jeshu of Nazareth. The Spirit is found on the margins, not in the centers of power, and those who most faithfully respond to her call will most likely be suspect by those  at the center who have followed their addictions and turned the institution into a false idol. This is a generalization, of course, because there are good people within the Vatican bureaucracy and no doubt also the Sangha who are attempting to initiate reform from within. But these recent comments by good Pope Francis simply highlight the fact that truly radical reform must come from without, and the real breath of the Spirit is found on the margins, both within the formal boundaries of the institution as well as (most often) just outside the door.



Buddhadasa Bikkhu at his forest retreat, Suan Mokh


(Please see this wonderful article from Peace Magazine about the legendary Pra Prachak, who sadly has long since disappeared from public view in Thailand. I had the privilege of being led on a 15 day Vipassana retreat by Buddhadasa Bikkhu some twenty years ago, an experience so profound it still reverberates within my Christian/Catholic soul.)





Feb 7, 2014

Philomena's Grace of Forgiveness




I've just finished watching - for the second time - the extraordinary film, Philomena, starring Judy Dench in the role of Philomena Lee, the Irish women whose son was sold for adoption by Irish nuns in the 1950's. It's a terrible story and an even more terrible criminal scandal, in that this happened to thousands of young unwed Irish girls, whose babies were taken from them, sold usually to rich American parents for fees of a thousand pounds or more, and all ties and traces to the children hidden, covered up, erased by intransigent nuns. If it sounds as if I'm being melodramatic, the story is just that horrible.

A photo of young Anthony at Sean Abbey:


Here is a photo of Philomena's son, Anthony (renamed Michael by his American adopted parents) speaking with Sister Hildegard at Sean Rose Abbey where he was born.  In the final stages of AIDS, he traveled to the Abbey in hopes of finding some way of connecting to his mother. 



Sister Hildegard denied all knowledge of his mother's whereabouts, even though she knew perfectly well that Philomena was searching for her son and knew exactly how to get in touch with her. And she denied all knowledge of Anthony's whereabouts when Philomena came to the abbey a number of times searching for the answers. The cruelty is almost unimaginable, a dying son denied the  comfort of a few final moments with his birth mother. During Philomena's last visit, the nuns failed to tell her that her son, who had died of AIDS, was actually buried in the Abbey graveyard a few dozen meters from the doorstep. And this was in 2003, a mere ten years ago. As of 2009, when the book written by journalist, Martin Sixsmith was published detailing Philomena's life and search, the nuns, supported by a powerful Church apparatus, were still denying everything. To this day, the church refuses to release thousands of archival records of adoptions in the early part of the twentieth century. 

Three days ago, Philomena, together with her daughter and the actor Steve Coogon, who plays the part of Martin Sixsmith in the film, managed to have a very brief, all too brief, visit with the Pope. You will notice from this short film on the BBC, it was in no way a formal audience, it took place outdoors in St. Peter's Square, and the Pope, while gracious and warm, uttered not a word to Philomena or her companions. In other words, it was the slightest of meetings possible.  Merely a greeting in passing, on the way to more important things. 

There was some speculation that the meeting had been arranged to time with the Oscar race, for which the film is nominated for four Oscars. A bit of silly speculation, but the rumours generated this callous remark from Vatican spokesperson, Father Federico Lombardi:

The Holy Father does not see films, and will not be seeing this one. It is also important to avoid using the Pope as part of a marketing strategy.

I read remarks like this and I think to myself: What is wrong with these people? The arrogance and hyper protectiveness of the all hallowed institution. So as you can see, my anger and disgust are showing, which shames me a little. Talks are actually underway to facilitate a screening of the film for the Pope, but it's all very secret and hush hush, the communications taking place between the film's producer, Harvey Weinstein and a Swiss intermediary. One can only weep at the high comedy of this situation. 

Philomena has said that she has forgiven everyone involved in her case, especially Sister Hildegard who played such a villainous role in the affair over a fifty year period. At one point, Philomena was bitter and angry and lost 'a little bit' of her faith and stopped going to Mass. But she resumed Mass attendance and found within herself the grace to forgive, saying, "I couldn't hold a grudge all these years, I have forgiven everyone." 

Steve Coogan told the Pope, "Philomena is a symbol of forgiveness and reconciliation and that although she is an ordinary woman she did an extraordinary thing." To which the Pope merely smiled, gracious and warm to be sure, but mute, with many nervous, twitchy attendants surrounding him on all sides, clearly nervous about moving him on and out of the scene. Nonetheless, Pope Francis does radiate an uncommon goodness and sincerity. But how far can such gentleness go in combating the many terrible ongoing abuses within the Catholic Church? To quote from one commentator:

It's all well and good that this Pope comes across as someone you could hug and have a pint with, and I welcome his rhetoric, but so far, that's all it's been....
...Rhetoric.


I find Philomena's forgiving attitude admirable and inspiring, but she is a better person than I am. My anger continues and I feel no interior call to return to regular Church services. Rather, I feel enormous gratitude to the Lord for having led me outside the doors of the institution, where my faith continues to burn brightly, but without the burden of involvement with the institution itself. We each have our place and peace of heart for myself is clearly found 'outside the door.' Thanks be to God. Freed at last. 

However, returning to the theme of forgiveness, this  should not mean forgetting, and as we can see from the portrait of Jesus in the gospels, there is a place for righteous anger. The Church will never change its behaviour and its deplorable, ongoing coverups unless people get angry, cease to fear the institution, and hold it to accountability. As a spokesperson for the organization Adoption Ireland said,

The Irish government and the church will keep a lid on information about illegal adoption and tracing rights unless more and more people use their voice.

Finally, the meeting was clearly a great grace for Philomena herself. She claimed that she felt such relief at 'being forgiven at last' for her sins of the past. One can only marvel at such an attitude. When asked if she didn't feel it was the  Church itself that was in need of forgiveness and not herself, she simply looked pensive and turned away. 

Finally, the film itself is a gem because it tells this terrible tale not with heavy melodrama, but with wit and humor and a lightness of touch - which makes the pathos and poignancy of the tale all that more clearly felt. It has its critics, of course, not surprisingly the representatives of the Abbey of the Sacred Hearts of Jesus and Mary where Philomena and Anthony stayed:

"We do feel that the film, even though it is not a documentary, does not tell the whole truth and in many ways is very misleading,"

In other words, 'there will be no apology from us'. What is one to do in the face of such intransigence. One painful lesson to be learned is that such attitudes are so entrenched, the institution will not reform itself, but must be forced to be held to standards of decency and accountability. Perhaps this is the overall lesson imparted by history and grace through these many unfolding scandals. The institution itself, which a channel of grace for many, is also a conduit of evil and must not be turned into a sacred idol. Caution, critical distance, careful discernment, and the refusal to be cowed. 

And on another front, this may seem like a bizarre right turn, deserving of another posting, but I  finished watching the inspiring 1958 film, The Inn of the Sixth Happiness, starring Ingrid Bergman.


It dramatises the truly inspiring story of Gladys Aylward, the heroic English woman who went to China on her own in 1930, because she felt God's call to come to the country as a missionary, even though the China Missionary Society refused to  sponsor her, deeming her unqualified. But with unbounded faith and trust in the God who was guiding her, Gladys made her way to China alone, overcoming many obstacles on the way, including a thousand mile train ride across Russia into Siberia, and a three day walk through a blizzard alone, in which she almost died. She became an integral part of the culture,  a renowned humanitarian, renounced her British citizenship and become a citizen of China.  Her fearless faith in the face of so many formidable obstacles is reminiscent of the greatest saints of the Catholic tradition, and St. Teresa of Avila immediately comes to mind. Gladys risked her life many times to help those in need. When Gladys felt her interior calls, nothing would stop her, not even mountains of obstacles, which she merely took as God's good way of trying her faith until 'his' moment would arrive. When war broke out with the Japanese, Gladys led a band of 100 children through a hazardous treck over  the mountains of Northern China to safety and freedom, while being wounded herself. This is just a brief summary of the life of this extraordinary woman of faith and inspiration. In watching the film, it was clear to me that in Catholic terms, Gladys was a canonizable saint of truly great proportions, though thank the Lord for her, the Protestants do not elevate their inspirational persons in quite the same way, putting them on pedestals. But here is a story of grace and inspiration, flourishing within another Christian denomination, demonstrating so clearly that the Spirit does not take sides, and no institutional framework for Christianity should be elevated into a sacred idol. Institutional frameworks of some sort are necessary for the handing on of tradition, but when they rigidify and become absolutized, they lead to corruption. Caution, distance, careful discernment. 

Philomena Lee and Gladys Aylward, two women of faith and inspiration, led by the Spirit to offer very different witnesses of grace and reconciliation. 

Feb 5, 2014

The tragedy of Dylan Farrow

Against my better judgement, I am posting a few reflections on the recent Woody Allen/Dylan Farrow controversy. I don't wish to repeat the story, for those interested it is widely available online and is only getting uglier by the minute, sad to say. For my own part, I remain on the fence, so to speak. It is not incredible at all to suspect Mr. Allen capable of some of the inappropriate acts suggested. The problem rests with the alleged incident in the attic, upon which the whole case rests. Unfortunately, there are simply too many credible witnesses who maintain that such an incident could not have taken place, among them both of the nannies in the house at the time and Dylan's brother, Moses Farrow.


Below is a comment I posted at the website Bilgrimage earlier today. Since posting this, I've since learned that Moses Farrow has become more explicit in his denials in a People Magazine article:

My mother drummed it into me to hate my father for tearing apart the family and sexually molesting my sister," Moses Farrow, 36, told People Magazine. "And I hated him for her for years. I see now that this was a vengeful way to pay him back for falling in love with Soon-Yi."

Of the alleged incident in the attic:

Moses Farrow said it never happened. "Of course Woody did not molest my sister," he told the magazine, which said he is estranged from Mia Farrow and close to Allen. "She loved him and looked forward to seeing him when he would visit. She never hid from him until our mother succeeded in creating the atmosphere of fear and hate towards him. The day in question, there were six or seven of us in the house. We were all in public rooms and no one, not my father or sister, was off in any private spaces. My mother was conveniently out shopping. I don't know if my sister really believes she was molested or is trying to please her mother. Pleasing my mother was very powerful motivation because to be on her wrong side was horrible.

And Moses, a family therapist, ends with these powerful words:

"I think my sister is missing a great deal in life in not reconnecting with her father, who had always adored her," he says. "It’s important that she assert her independence from our mother and not go through life with the false impression that she has been molested by my father. I am very happy I have come into my own power, separating from my mother, which has led to a positive reunion with my father."

Dylan has responded by saying his remarks are a betrayal of the whole family and he is dead to her now.

The comment at Bilgrimage follows. I simply don't have the heart to revise it or organize these random thoughts into a coherent essay.


"For those who are interested, here is an invaluable perspective on the Allen/Dylan Farrow case from Samantha Giermer, the victim of Roman Polanski. Advice well worth following.
It is a curious fact that Mia Farrow is an outspoken defender of Roman Polanski. Allen's Golden Globe award is an affront to abuse survivors everywhere but Polanski's Oscar isn't? Curious indeed, but I don't want to belabour the point. I did go back and take a very close look at the original 1992 investigation - which, I have to say, rather shocked me, the testimonies of the two nannies in particular. That Allen willingly subjected himself to a battery of psychological tests and psychiatric interviews and just as willingly took a lie detector test - which he passed - but Mia Farrow refused to take. Of course, the key question she would have been asked is whether she coached Dylan in her answers, an assertion supported by sworn testimony by one of the nannies.
I have difficulty overcoming my feeling of repugnance for Allen and his creepy proclivity for teenage girls, but I'm trying not to allow that prejudicial feeling to override my critical faculties. Something is not right here and the case is far from simple.
For those who have the stomach for it, here is Allen's own 1992 in depth interview on 60 minutes, though unfortunately it is cut off mid way:
The only thing that is clear to me is that Dylan Farrow is the tragic victim in this case and I have no doubt she believes her accusations. I found her statement profoundly moving and sad. But who is the real child abuser? That question remains open, I'm afraid. Too many red flags on all sides.
For the record, I'm not a particular fan of Allen's movies. I've found them wittingly entertaining, but not very admirable. And I'm definitely 'out of sympathy' with the man. Even so, caution must prevail in a case of such enormous complexity.
One voice that needs to be considered is that of another sibling, Moses Farrow, who recently stated that it took him twenty years to escape the negative effects of the 'cloud of toxic hate' and the 'fog of brainwashing' he endured in the Farrow household. Chilling words.
And lastly, does anyone care about the poignant, mature and serene words of Song Yi in defence of her 20 year marriage to Allen and her views on the Dylan accusations? Another woman's voice we feel free to ignore.
Not that it matters a whit, but I'm writing these reflections in the beautiful cathedral of Saint Barbara in the little town of Kutna Hora, some 100 kilometers from Prague (via 4G). I've been reflecting on the Allen/Polanski cases for the past hour, and my intuitions (which are important to no one but myself) tell me something is decidedly 'wrong' about these current accusations agains Allen, though I can't say precisely what that is. But to remain true to those intuition, I have to overcome my own very real repugnance for the man himself and my heartfelt sympathy for Dylan Farrow. May she find peace at last.

I just read this comment at Salon Magazine, which sums up my own sentiments exactly.

What a truly sad situation. It seems like there is plausible circumstantial evidence for both sides of the story. Depending on who is telling the truth, either Woody Allen or Mia Farrow is an unspeakable monster. We don't know, we probably won't get to know, and this is frustrating for anyone who just wants the best for both of them.
In the absence of information that could settle the issue, it might be time for everyone involved to take the fight out of the public eye and move on.
Very good advice, which I am not following by posting on the issue. Heartbreaking and sad.

Jan 13, 2014

Francis, the New Cardinals, Canonizations and more



There is a crack in everything -
  That's how the light gets in.


News of the new cardinals appointed by Pope Francis hit the airwaves several days ago, causing some delight on the part of observers because of the global spread of the new choices, many from small, 'insignificant' countries who had never had cardinals before. Francis had earlier said he wanted his appointees to have tasted the poverty of ordinary folk around the globe. He seems determined to be inclusive in his choices, broadening the college of cardinals to include more representatives from poor countries.

This is very much an internal matter, I suppose, not of much interest to ordinary folk outside the reach of the Catholic Church and perhaps the college itself seems like an anachronism, part of an outmoded system destined for the scrapheap of history. Yet in the short run, Francis must work within the system given him and a broadening of the leadership can only be a good thing in the long run. So yes, the new choices are a cause for some celebration. Changes are occurring, slowly, drip by drip. But are they enough in the long run to save the institution itself from imploding? That is the question and the mystery.

There has been a lot of criticism of Francis of late for failing to take more decisive steps in addressing the child abuse scandal in the church, and I have to admit the criticism seems more than fair. This is the paramount moral issue facing the church today, there is no other, not women priests or gay marriage, contraception or abortion, issues which pale in comparison to the urgency of the abuse scandal. So we wait and good people attempt to apply pressure, albeit indirectly, to the Pope and the Vatican, hoping someone will hear. I would have to say that the abuse scandal also dwarfs the poverty/riches/capitalism scandal which Francis is so intent on addressing. One waits in hope and hopes for an end to the silence. And of course, hoping is not enough.

From Jerry Slevin at Christian Catholicism:

Pope Francis’s curial cardinal appointments suggest Cardinal Sodano’s and the ex-Pope’s continuing strong influence. Three long time Sodano proteges ( Archbishops Parolin, Baldisseri and Stella) and the ex-Pope’s long time protege, Archbishop Muller, head of the fundamentally flawed child protection department. Add this to Francis’ decision to protect the Polish Archbishop, another Sodano protege, from answering for alleged crimes against children as Papal Nuncio in the Dominican Republic. The continuation of Cardinal Levada, another protege of the ex-Pope and Muller’s predecessor as purported “child protector”, on the key Commission on Bishops is just more of the same......


Child protection is the top priority for Catholics. If Catholics cannot trust their hierarchy to protect children from some in the hierarchy and their agents, how can they trust them on any other matter? And why should they?
As the People of God, it is their Church as well. It is not merely the private property of a a group of aged celibate men focused too often on protecting their power and wealth, without accountability to any independent oversight, even for unspeakable violations of defenseless children.
Read the full article HERE

But on another more inspiring note, on April 27 of next year  Pope Francis will canonize beloved Pope John XXIII. In attendance at the ceremony, will be the new Cardinal Loris Francesco Capovilla, the personal secretary during the entirety of Pope John's tenure as pope. Cardinal Capovilla will be 99 years old at the time of the ceremony and there is something mystical about that fact. A holy event to be sure.




However, marring the event for myself will be the fact that Pope John Paul II will also be canonised, making the ceremony something of a sign of contradiction. Because of his handling - or mishandling - of the sex abuse scandal and his unqualified support for Legionaire Founder, Marcial Marciel, one of the most notorious serial sexual predators in the church's history, Pope John Paul II doesn't really deserve to be 'elevated to the altars,' as the phrase goes, or such is my view (though I'm hardly alone in that opinion). It's a further sign of contradiction that he displayed a relentless, passionate determination during his papacy to overturn and reverse all of the reforms of the Second Vatican Council, convened by Pope John, while paying lip service to the 'true spirit' of the Council, which was merely a form of double speak. And so we have a striking sign of the contradictions presently dividing the body of the church, as the holy man who initiated an opening to the Spirit through the Council is canonised alongside his nemesis, the man who did all in his power to reverse the effects of this very same  Council. It is enough to make one weep. And yet one continues to hope and continues to believe - but this faith is not centered on the institutional church as such, but on the presence of the life giving Spirit and the Lord of history who is the ultimate master of the Church and who can bring into being new forms of church community as s/he so wills in "God's good time." Rather the contradiction that is the upcoming canonisation ceremony might simply be a sign from the Lord not to trust too much in institutions, a gentle reminder to 'let go,' and to see his Face transcending all purely temporal structures. Beloved Pope John indeed, but life is never simple and the Lord leads us through the valleys and byways, through crooked paths, and up treacherous mountain passes, inspiring us always to keep our eyes fixed in faith on the mountain top ahead.

On a closing note, I just finished reading Louise Penny's crime novel, How The Light Gets In.  


We have to wait until the very end of the novel to understand the significance of the title. After many trials and contradictions that have driven the protagonists to their limits and beyond, the novel resolves peacefully with a marriage. And the congregation sings these lines:


                                                         There is a crack in everything
  That's how the light gets in.

The lines are from a poem/song Anthem by Leonard Cohen:

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.
– Anthem, Leonard Cohen


From the context of the novel, the meaning is clear. It is precisely through the trials and contradictions of life, the flaws, mistakes, mishaps we commit, and the terrible sorrows that life brings us, those terrible signs of contradiction that test our faith, it is precisely there through the cracks of our brokenness that the light of grace shines in.

Jan 8, 2014

NUDE GAY PRIESTS IN ORTHODOX CALENDAR: photos galore

No, no, not nude gay priests. I was just having fun with the Post Title, but the subject is salacious and sassy enough. 

I NEED A WHIPPING FOR MY SINS



Once again, those dear Romanian Christian Orthodox folks are at it again with their gay calendar for 2014. These photos are too funny for words, except the word 'outrageous.' I'm actually not 'into' beefy, hunky guys like this, who look a little overdeveloped to these old eyes. But the photos are really wild. The titles are my own invention. 



According to London's Daily Mail:

The men behind the Romanian Orthodox 2014 calendar say it pays tribute to gay marriage, which, they say, 'is in the news all around the world and very timely'. 
OC (Orthodox Calendar) was established in 2012 and is the brainchild of a group composed mostly of Orthodox Christian eastern Europeans of the former communist regions. 

One of the calendar's organisers told The Huffington Post that the snaps don't feature any actual priests. The models are gay-friendly members 'of the Orthodox Church' who have chosen to strip down for the sexy shoot 'because they believe - like us - in freedom of speech, tolerance, equality and human rights.'

'This product is not intended to be used for religious purposes. It is a work of artistic expression and political and social commentary promoting the modernity and dynamism of persons involved in the Orthodox Church,' added the source.

I'm thinking of making one of these photos the emblem for this blog! Check out the full article and photo set here at the Daily Mail.  Or check out the official website for ORTHODOX CALENDAR HERE. 

More commentary from a new blogsite for me: Scallywag and Vagabond:
According to the calendar’s website the primary goal of the calendar is to ‘demonstrate that Orthodox believers do not all fit the backward, hidebound stereotype portrayed in the press but rather are regular people with passions, preferences, interests and desires,’
‘At the same time, the calendar takes an ironic approach to the Orthodox Church itself, which in recent years has baeen embroiled in corruption scandals, artist repression, gay sex cover-ups, outrageous behavior and homophobia.’
Through their calendars, the six creatives behind the calendar are hoping to counteract, what they describe as the ‘negative and outdated influences of most of the Orthodox church leadership.’
FATHER FORGIVE ME



BEDTIME READING


A TASTY MORSEL


TIME TO LIGHT A CANDLE



DO YOU RENOUNCE SATAN AND ALL HIS WORKS



THE HOLY FAMILY OOO LA LA



Jan 3, 2014

A Huge Improvement

More reflections on the past year as we move into 2014.

Found this photo on Facebook today with this lovely caption that expresses my sentiments exactly:

This guy. Not perfect, but still a HUGE improvement. 


The abuse crisis, the treatment of gays, the place of women, 

Not what we would have hoped, but what we received was astonishing all the same - and risky for the man himself. Let's see what this new year will bring.
Gratitude to God for this breath of fresh air. 

Dec 26, 2013

Tom Daley's Christmas Cheer

Young Olympic diving star, Tom Daley, who 'came out' several weeks ago, is taking his newly acquired title of "Gay Icon," with a bit of whimsy - and with the help of some of his friends. Tom posted these photos on his Facebook page yesterday, and he has a rueful expression on his face as if he's not quite sure of what to make of it all. It appears as if his best (girl) friend and the first recipient of his confidences about his same sex attractions was the principal gift bestower - from the brightly wrapped packages with the rainbow ribbon to the rainbow socks and the cheeky apron. Note the hairy legs.  There is certainly no doubt that Tom himself and his public witness are precious Christmas gifts this season for the youth of the LGBT community. Tom has gone from being the wholesome, decent boy next door to the wholesome, decent gay boy next door, and he's made the transition with hardly a burp or a stumble. 









Dec 25, 2013

Christmas Blessings

On this Christmas Day in Prague, I give thanks for the many blessings of this year, both personally (and they have been many) and more universally, of which I place the arrival of the holy and compassionate Pope Francis at the very top of the list. Despite the frustrations of some gay activists at Francis's seeming lack of haste in redressing injustices to gay folks and making the institution truly more welcoming to us, I've felt his slower, more cautious approach is the more effective one in the long run, and seems truly inspired to me.



Here is a comment I found on the Being Liberal site which reflects my own sentiments exactly.

Whether it is intentional on his part or not, by opening the possibility for changes driven from the trenches, Frances has a better chance of moving the church forward than if he decreed change.  Seeds for how the church can change after his time will be planted, as well.  Plus, he is less likely to suffer kickback from the "conservative" leaders or worse if a groundswell begins.

And so among the many blessings I am grateful for this year, the appearance of this holy man at the helm of the bark of St. Peter appears to be the most auspicious. My only qualification would be that the above commentator's optimism regarding kickback may not be entirely realistic. There is no doubt that Francis is angering many very powerful people with his incisive criticisms of our present economic situation. May blessings and wisdom be upon him and may he be protected from the dark forces that always arise in response to such unmitigated goodness and courageous truth-telling. 

Dec 22, 2013

Dec 21, 2013

Blessings from Utah


What an inspiring gift we have all been given at the beginning of this Christmas season by the news coming out of Mormon Utah. Gay marriage has arrived in the most hardened state of the US union. What a joyous noel. 

Praise be to the Lord and Lady of the Universe watching over all of us. What a prophetic sign of contradiction for fundamentalist religions everywhere (and totalitarian states reincarnating themselves such as Putin's Russia). Them walls of Jericho will indeed come tumbling down with a loud and riotous clatter and shouts of joy and cries of release. Day by day in the face of religious intolerance, the Spirit shows her life giving Presence, not (usually) in the marbled corridors of ecclesiastical power, but more often down among us little people struggling to survive day by day without pomp and purple and circumstance. Blessings have come upon us all and let us be grateful for these brief moments of light and grace. May they continue to grow and may our faith and trust in a loving Providence continue to increase in the face of doubts, temptations and those dark, grey moments when 'God" seems all too silent. For this moment at least, the heavens shine and we are blessed.

And for some of the most joyous iconic moments of the year for LGBT people, especially transgendered, click here.

Some heart warming photos:







Dec 10, 2013

Tom Daley's Outing and Mystical Grace




(Tom Daley  in Houston a few days ago, with new found boyfriend Dustin Lance Black holding back in the background.)

Mystical Grace - I'm engaging in a bit of hyperbole here, linking to my previous post about the disarming and candid 'self-outing' of young Olympic diving star, Tom Daley a few days ago. Most of the fanfare and hoopla has died down by now, to the relief of many readers of UK papers, who were becoming slightly irritated by all the attention, and the numerous articles day by day. Nonetheless, putting aside one's reservations about the current obsession with celebrities and their intimate lives, the disclosure of teen Tom's relationship with another man caused shock waves across the athletic world and was a genuine 'event' of some significance for the LGBT community. Some of the most sensitive reflections were posted in the Guardian newspaper, with numerous comments spanning the full spectrum from heartfelt gushing support to nasty homophobic jibes (in the minority, thank the Lord). Only Tom Daley, I think, could manage to make the jibe "Gay Boy" appear to be a compliment, something sexy, charming and fashionable. 

I followed the case with some interest because I'm currently writing a novel with a young gay teen love story at its heart (modeled on the lives of several of my students). So anything of a gay teen love element draws me in, ever hungry for verisimilitude in my own writing. (Hard to be in touch with the vibes of the young when you are 70 years old). See a bit of gossip from the Daily Mail here. 


And so it was that I was thoroughly charmed by Tom's story of 'love at first sight,' his first encounter with his new partner, Dustin Lance Black, an encounter that turned him around and upside down and led to his recent disclosure of same sex attraction. Unless Tom is being disingenuous, the story does seem like a remarkable coincidence, too much so to be chance. Is there an element of divine whimsy at work here, a loving providence leading two souls together at just the precise moment.

For in fact, Dustin Lance Black is not only an Oscar winning screenwriter (for Milk), he is also a prominent LGBT activist. Tom claims that when he saw him from across the room at a party, he did not know his name or his identity or even "if he was gay." The fact that Tom used the 'gay label' in that sentence during a spontaneous interview is revealing. He does know how to use labels when convenient. He felt an irresistible force drawing him towards the older man, but was too shy to speak to him directly. So he jotted down a short note with phone number and winky face and slipped it into the notes Black was carrying. The next day Dustin Lance texted him and the two have been together ever since. 

Quite romantic and if true, quite astounding as well as a coincidence. There are moments in our lives when grace manifests itself in a clearly sensible way, illuminating with a sense of interior warmth and attractiveness a particular person within our horizon or a moral choice to make or a city or country or profession we feel drawn to. The Spirit moves where she will. Taking this story at face value (there are others who claim friends of the couple arranged to introduce them), then, it means that one of the world's great teen athletic celebrities was drawn unwittingly to seek out one of the western world's most prominent gay activists, precisely the caliber of man who would be able to steer young Tom through the ordeal of coming out as a major teen celebrity. Was providence at work here in a loving and compassionate way? I would like to think so, since the impact of this story on gay youth has already been considerable. A moment of mystical grace leads young Tom Daley to his first romantic gay partner.



However, there are the nay sayers within the gay community and some catty rather amusing gossip as well, much of it dissing Lance, as he prefers to be called, as a chicken hawk and predator of the young with a history of going after teens. There are even salacious details emerging about his previous sexual peccadilloes. It's all a bit nasty, but it does inject a dose of reality into the glowing, rosy story.

Yet, I prefer the original version, unsullied by suspicions and innuendo. As one commentator in the Guardian noted, the story of Tom's outing so moves us because we feel we 'know him  so well', due to his candor and honesty over the years. He feels like one of the family, if not a son, then a beloved nephew or distant cousin for whom we have some concern and care. I trust his basic honesty in accounting the manner of his meeting his new love - he saw him from afar without knowing his identity or sexual orientation, felt inspired to make the first move, and found himself to his great surprise, falling heedlessly and hopelessly in love. Such are the mysteries of providence and the Spirit of Love who moves through our hearts in mysterious ways, healing all of the dark corners and crevices where fear lurks and festers, bringing to light all of the dark motivations and expunging them, so all is light and love and peace.

Peace and joy be upon the couple as they embark upon this new adventure in their life journey. I wish them well.

One day someone will hug you so tight that all your broken pieces will stick back together. 

Tom Daley in a recent tweet. 

Dec 2, 2013

Tom Daley Comes Out

The news has already become viral over the rainbow blogosphere and internet in general, but young UK Olympic teen star, Tom Daley " came out" this morning on his Facebook page, admitting that he was in a relationship with another young man, an event that both surprised him and turned his life upside down. "I'll still fancy girls," Tom said, undoubtedly as a way of softening the blow for his millions of young female fans. Yet his new relationship felt 'right' and made him 'feel safe,' an interesting comment that is designed to elicit comment and speculation. He has taken the cautious, step by step approach to coming out, by first implying that he is 'bisexual,' as with so many of my young high school students. But as we've learned from experience, this is frequently just the crack in the door that leads to full acceptance of one's essentially gay identity, preferring men to women as long term partners. Full disclosure and admittance for many young teens is simply too difficult and painful. This must be doubly so for such a young, prominent teen celebrity, and no doubt Tom is being sincere in stating he fancies girls as well. It's simply a matter of which gender one can give one's whole heart and soul to unreservedly. No wonder he looked haggard and stressed in the video, and minus his signature dazzling smile. This must be quite a stressful event for a young 19 year old used to the public eye. Comments on his facebook page were uniformly positive, with the occasional tactless and insensitive comment from Neanderthals, intermingled with the loving support. Some commentators implied he shouldn't have made it public, that it was nobody's business and smacked of too much teen melodrama. How obtuse and lacking in insight. 

I'm commenting on this event today because by coincidence I was on line on Facebook when Tom posted the video, and so saw it instantly as it happened (along with 1, 500,000 other people I'm connected to Tom on Facebook). This was quite a shock, as it was completely unexpected - at least by me. Some commentators tried to make it seem obvious, but I hardly think so. In retrospect, perhaps, and given the fact he wasn't dating some famous teen fashion model or visiting strip clubs like the precocious Justin Bieber. Tom seemed so wholesome and 'boy next door,' too 'normal' for anything so edgy and daring as a same sex relationship. Of course we are all dying with curiosity to know who his partner is and to get a good luck at him. Lucky fellow, what a catch!

This is momentous news for the young gay teen community worldwide and undoubtedly young Tom Daley has already inspired countless numbers of suicide prone gay teens to continue valiantly with life's challenges and possibilities when such an outstanding role model is among them.  God bless you, Tom, for your heartfelt revelation and best wishes for a long and love filled life. 

The video can be seen on youtube here.